Code "Chili Pepper"
Cashiers page two different codes, code 1 and code 5. Both involve the head cashier or supervisor's scan key to continue the purchase. I was checking out a customer when Sally Spec came over.
SALLY: Dude, code "chili pepper" on register 5.
ME: Huh? [I looked behind me, to register 5, and saw a really buff customer buying groceries] Oh...
I didn't think he was that hot, but the great thing was, Sally discovered an excellent new way to communicate that I should check out a good looking guy nearby. This didn't last too long, as Sally got more and more obvious about it as we carried on. Sally was two lines down from me on register 8, when she turned around to see Elvira's customer, a young Dylan McDermott look alike. She very conspicuously nodded her head in his direction and said, "Miranda, Code 'chili pepper' on register 7." Why didn't she just say, "Hey Miranda, look at this hot guy right here!" Anyway, I looked and said, "Affirmative." He had to have seen this and understood what was being said because he turned around to smile at me.
Embarrassing. If I didn't have brown skin I would have been blushing. I moved to abolish this code immediately. Even if we were to use something less obvious, like "code 6," Sally would probably make our communication transparent by repeatedly pointing in the direction of the guy she is talking about.
Binary
I saw this shirt and didn't get it.
I asked the kid wearing it what it meant and he began to explain binary code to me. "10 in binary actually means 2." I laughed. How geeky! Sally, who was bagging my groceries, still didn't get it so the kid continued to explain. It wasn't what this kid was saying, but the enthusiasm for the subject that made me find him adorable. This kid looked like he goes to math club meetings after school and tutors his crush, who is probably the prettiest girl in school, who only has eyes for the quarterback. His braces and non-hipster, unintentional nerd glasses were the icing on the cake. He told me he wants to be a programmer and I am pretty sure he'll succeed. I hope he will always be excited about and love what he does for a living. That, to me, is a real dream. I do also hope he gets the girl.
No Cheese With This Whine
A woman and her daughter came through my line with an enormous amount of food in their cart. Every time I rang in something that cost over two dollars, the woman would grunt or say something like, "Ya'll are about to take off my right arm," or, "Can you believe the price of those cherries?" I never responded, but if I did respond I would say, "Would you please shut the hell up?" Every once in a while she would break away from complaining to me to turn, place one had on her hip (wherever that was) and complain to her daughter.
MOTHER: Those organic bananas cost $2.17!
DAUGHTER: I need potassium! It is also good for energy.
[more items were scanned]
MOTHER: That WHEY PROTEIN costs $19.99!
DAUGHTER: It has 30 grams of protein per serving! I need protein!
MOTHER: THAT ORGANIC CANTALOUPE COSTS $2.49!!
Oh my god SHUT UP! Shut up shut up shut up!!!!
The whole purchase ended up being over $250. It wasn't the daughter's fault, either. The mother said something about trying to eat healthy. Good for them, eat healthy but stop whining about it!
Observation
Parents with sick children at home are not down for conversation. Especially if they are working parents. One lady came through my line and when I asked how she is doing she didn't have much to say after she told me she had a sick child at home. I could see that her mind was racing, that she was stressed out. She didn't respond to anything I said after that. I tried to get her out faster, she must have had a million things to do. I have only ever had a sick dog and that makes me lose my marbles. I can only imagine how bad it is to have a sick child. Just an observation.
Update: O.C.Daisy
Daisy was being horrible as usual and was once again a topic of conversation between me and Sally. Crazy Redhead Vegan joined us and let us in on some background information. Apparently, Daisy was supposed to be a head cashier but somehow she didn't end up being one. It fell through due to a glitch in her paperwork. I get it now. Daisy is bitter. She could be earning more money, but can't get promoted for some reason. I imagine anyone else who comes in, that does a good job, is an instant enemy in her eyes. Anyone who doesn't listen to her makes her look bad, since she is trying to prove to others that she is worthy of a supervisor position. This doesn't really explain why she talks shit about people all of the time, but it is a little bit of insight. No wonder she calls everyone "darling," she is trying to be personable. Personable, but SO fake.
Giggles
Relief. I finally found my best audience. This kid laughed at everything. EVERYTHING! Anything I said or did made this kid laugh. Peek-a-boo? Laughing. Ringing up his toy dog on the scanner and making "boop" sounds? Laughing. Telling the kid the dog isn't for sale. Laughter. Putting the dog in a bag. So much laughter. The kid started to climb the side of the belt to be rung in as well. The mom took him off and said, "You're not for sale either." The most laughter of all. He only stopped to catch his breath and he held his tummy as he let out whatever giggles he had left. Normally, one would have to be high to laugh that much. Whatever this kid has, it needs to be bottled, replicated and sold. It was nice to see that much joy in one little person.
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