Update: The Infamous Patti
I came to work with a container full of organic cherry tomatoes from my garden. I brought them for Patti because I told her I would bring her some before my last day. I found out that she went to the hospital last night because there was something wrong with her pancreas. She would be released from the hospital today but would have to stay home for a few days. I was glad Patti was okay but I was a little sad that I didn't get to give her a proper goodbye.
Update: Cake Eyes & Klepto Sue
Cake Eyes worked in the register next to me for the first two hours of my shift. She didn't say a word to me the entire time. I didn't care. I was happy to see her replaced by Klepto Sue. Sue is more fun to talk to. I asked Sue if she would like to try the cherry tomatoes that I brought. She scooped up half the harvest into her hands and put them in her lunch bag.
SUE: Thank you!
This was my fault. I should have said, "Would you like to try ONE?" That last time I was this unclear, three trick-or-treaters took out 2/3 of the candy bowl on Halloween.
I noticed that Sue has become comfortable with some of the female cashiers. We could tell because she has begun to bump hips with all of us. Also, for whatever reason, she was slapping everyone on the butt today. I guess some people do it as a sign of comradery or affirmation like in the NBA, but I didn't care for it. I stood sideways so that I could keep Sue in my peripheral and avoid any hand-to-butt contact.
Brat
A man walked up followed by his daughter who had her hands cupped together. He turned around and looked at his daughter, puzzled.
MAN: What's that in your hand?
GIRL: Daddy, it's just a little bit.
MAN: We are not getting that.
GIRL: Yes we are. [she walked in front of her dad and placed a little bag of chocolate covered nuts on the belt]
MAN: [In an angry whisper] You pick those up right now and put them back!
I thought I saw fire come out of his eyes. This was a teaching moment that I didn't want to interrupt. The little girl pushed her father aside, grunted, and stomped back to the bulk section. Thankfully she didn't actually empty the chocolate back into the bin, she just placed the bag nearby. She walked over to the door and stood fuming with crossed arms. The dad apologized to me. I thought nothing of it. I have seen some parents publicly spank their kids into submission. It seemed that he would correct the situation at home instead of in a public place. Smart man.
Update: Elvira
I was walking back from taking a break when I found out I would be working next to Elvira. I took my till to my register.
ME: Hello!
ELVIRA: Ugh, you? You give me a headache.
ME: Likewise.
ELVIRA: You talk too much.
At first I thought she was joking. Then it didn't seem so. There was only one thing to do...be annoyingly talkative with other people around Elvira at a higher than normal volume level.
Ew...
A mom and her young daughter walked up to my line. This girl looked like Punky Brewster, freckles, pigtails and colorful clothes. The girl fixed her eyes upon the organic lollipop container.
GIRL: Mom! Can I have one of these! It says they're free!
ME & MOM: No they're not. [in unison]
GIRL: It says something free!
I laughed.
ME: It says that the lollipops are gluten-free.
GIRL: [her eyes widened] Gluten?! Ew...
MOM: Honey, gluten is in everything you eat.
The misinformed girl's face turned disgusted and mistrusting. "Gluten" does sound like it could be something gross. I offered her a free lollipop for the laugh.
GIRL: I'll pass. [she dramatically waved her hand in rejection]
Update: Banshee
Banshee stood at the end of my register to help bag groceries.
BANSHEE: Hey there.
ME: Hey. How are you?
BANSHEE: You know, I feel better today than I have in a while.
She told me all about what happened. She did have an IUD. Somehow she got pregnant and with what was essentially half of a baby. She recounted the graphic details of what happened. Doctors couldn't figure out what happened. It was a painful ordeal to bring her back to health and she was still stumped as to what happened. We didn't talk about it long.
I noticed her tattoo on her arm. It was the insignia from Star Trek.
ME: Are you a Trekkie?
BANSHEE: Very much so.
She told me about how she met Patrick Stewart at Comic Con and how she burst into tears at the sight of him. She grew up watching Star Trek with her dad. It was how they connected. When she watches the show she thinks of her father.
We eventually talked about what she missed while she was gone. I told her that her "No Shit Talking Rule" had done a bunk since O.C.Daisy was likely to get away with talking shit about me.
BANSHEE: Oh, so that's why she got a write-up.
ME: What?
BANSHEE: Daisy got a write-up.
ME: No fucking way. The system works?
BANSHEE: Yup, and head cashiers only get a first and final warning. Then after that you're fired.
Wow.
I couldn't believe that anything I said made any difference at all. I was really proud of my managers for hearing me out.
There goes my peace with Daisy.
Showing posts with label Gluten-Free. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gluten-Free. Show all posts
Friday, January 25, 2013
Monday, July 2, 2012
Day Sixteen
Old Man #4
ME: Hi there! How has your day been?
OLD MAN: I was fine until the point where you take my money.
ME: I'm really sorry about that.
OLD MAN: You disappoint a lot of people.
So, You Think You Can Go Gluten-Free
A woman came through my line with a return.
WOMAN: Hi, I have a return.
ME: Okay. Is the item still good, or is it spoiled? (a question for restocking purposes)
WOMAN: Oh my daughter and I bought a bunch of gluten-free stuff to try out the diet and everything just tastes like cardboard.
ME: Okay.
WOMAN: I mean it just tastes awful. Bleh! [she laughs]
ME: The gluten-free diet is actually for people who are allergic to gluten. It's not a fad diet. It's for those with celiac disease. [I call my head cashier (Ryan) over to handle the return, standard protocol]
RYAN: Hi ma'am, got a return? Is this product still good?
WOMAN: Oh, it tastes like dirt. I need food that tastes good. [she laughs again]
ME: Look BITCH, this is replacement food for people who are allergic to gluten. Some people can't have wheat and it sucks for them because the diet takes a lot of adjustment and the food is expensive. For some families it creates a bit of hardship. I'm really annoyed by how insensitive you are. [I threw her refund at her face] By the way, you're fat.
Okay...maybe that is not how the conversation ended. That is how it would have ended if today was my last day on the job. Rewind...
RYAN: Is the product still good?
WOMAN: Oh, it tastes like dirt. I need food that tastes good. [she laughs again]
ME: The product is still good, she just didn't want it. [I handed the woman her refund]
Angel
A woman was buying two separate orders of groceries for whatever reason. About halfway through the first order, she changed her mind and asked me to put the two orders together in one transaction. I usually think nothing of these things. I picked up a can of Amy's Refried Beans.
ME: I love Amy's brand. I love to make Mexican recipes with this.
WOMAN: Oh yeah. That's my daughter's best friend's favorite.
ME: Aw, that's so sweet! Are you making dinner for a girls' night?
WOMAN: Oh...no. I'm buying groceries for my daughter's best friend's family. My daughter's best friend recently found out that she has a brain tumor.
ME: No way...I'm so sorry. How old is this girl?
WOMAN: 11 years old.
I paused. After a failed attempt to contemplate what that must be like for a kid that age, I continued to ask questions. Every answer that woman gave me had me more and more in disbelief.
ME: Is the tumor benign or malignant?
WOMAN: Malignant.
ME: Is she being treated at Dallas Children's?
WOMAN: Her treatment is being overseen in Boston, but she receives radiation in Dallas Children's.
ME: Can she be healed of this?
WOMAN: It doesn't look good. We hope so.
ME: [ handing the woman her receipt] I hope so too. You're an angel, you know.
I didn't know this woman personally but all I wanted to do was give her a hug. I hoped the best for that 11 year old girl and while I was so sad for her, I also felt happy for her. She has such great people who love and support her and her family, the kind of love that is the strongest medicine for healing and recovery.
F-Bomber
A woman swiped her card to pay for her groceries and my computer screen displayed a message that said, "Insufficient funds."
WOMAN: Oh no. I think there is less on the card than my total, is there a way to put in a certain amount in first on my card? I'll pay the rest in cash! I made too much fucking money last year on unemployment and I am not allowed how have much this year. [scoffs] Here's my loser card.
I looked at the card, it was a Lonestar card (foodstamps). Ryan was nearby and came over to help. He was able to find out how much money was on the card and help the woman do the transaction.
WOMAN: [handing over the rest in cash] Thank you! You're wonderful. You're probably thinking, 'Man, what a loser.'
ME: Not at all!
WOMAN: Oh thank you so much. You guys are so sweet. You know, I used to judge people who used this card all of the time, like 'Who is this fuckin' loser?' You know?
ME: [Handing her a receipt] It's cool, really. Have a nice day.
Until this woman came through my line, I had never heard any customers curse. I didn't think she was a loser at all. I'm sure this woman felt otherwise for being on food stamps, but she must have been doing better if the government was giving her less. I hoped that she would see even more prosperity, and eventually have less dependence on her Lonestar card.
Heartless Lucy
Lucy was one of my pals at work. We got along fine. For fun we would fake quarrels and pretend we don't like each other. Today, for the first time, I didn't have to pretend.
LUCY: Ugh I hate my dog.
ME: Aw! Why? What kind of dog is it?
LUCY: It's a Pomeranian Chihuahua mix. It's just bitchy and barks all of the time. It tears up all of my stuff while I'm not home and gets into my garbage.
ME: Do you have a kennel?
LUCY: No.
ME: Get a kennel and put your dog in it when you are not home.
LUCY: I'm getting rid of it.
ME: Why?
LUCY: I'm moving into an apartment.
ME: Pound or adoption?
LUCY: I'm going to find it a home.
ME: You're going to interview potential owners right?
LUCY: Yeah, I'm probably going to have a hard time letting go.
ME: Then why don't you get a kennel and see if that makes things better. When the dog misbehaves, the kennel is also good for disciplining. If your dog barks, face away and put in ear plugs. Only pay attention to it when it is behaving. Give it loads of treats when it obeys you and behaves well. You can take care of this dog. Just watch Animal Planet for Christ's sake.
LUCY: I'm moving to an apartment and I just don't want to deal with it.
ME: Then why did you get a dog in the first place?
LUCY: I didn't think it would be like this! I had a dog before! It was a lab and it was so smart and behaved well, but it died.
ME: How?
LUCY: Parvo. It was a puppy.
ME: Did you take it for shots?
LUCY: I was going to. It probably got parvo from the dog park. My roomates took my dog there without permission.
ME: Well, then did you murder your roomates? Or at the very least hate them forever?
LUCY: I know.
Lucy was telling all of this to the wrong person. I have a dog and I am fostering another. I have lived in a house with roomates who had dogs before. All dogs have the capacity to be wonderful pets. It is never a dog's fault if it misbehaves. They are like children, they require training. They require more than just food and water, the need love and attention and they will give back that love and attention more than two fold. Dogs cost money. Don't get a dog before you know how much it costs or what care is involved!
I was angry. I felt a little ridiculous for instantly not liking this girl, but honestly I didn't like her anymore. I wanted to break into her house and steal her dog. I wondered how neglected that dog was probably feeling. Lucy probably doesn't even walk it. I am going to get updates on this animal. I think I am going to find it a foster parent. Lucy may redeem herself for being a terrible owner if she makes an effort to find this dog an owner who will love it. I'm going to help.
ME: Hi there! How has your day been?
OLD MAN: I was fine until the point where you take my money.
ME: I'm really sorry about that.
OLD MAN: You disappoint a lot of people.
So, You Think You Can Go Gluten-Free
A woman came through my line with a return.
WOMAN: Hi, I have a return.
ME: Okay. Is the item still good, or is it spoiled? (a question for restocking purposes)
WOMAN: Oh my daughter and I bought a bunch of gluten-free stuff to try out the diet and everything just tastes like cardboard.
ME: Okay.
WOMAN: I mean it just tastes awful. Bleh! [she laughs]
ME: The gluten-free diet is actually for people who are allergic to gluten. It's not a fad diet. It's for those with celiac disease. [I call my head cashier (Ryan) over to handle the return, standard protocol]
RYAN: Hi ma'am, got a return? Is this product still good?
WOMAN: Oh, it tastes like dirt. I need food that tastes good. [she laughs again]
ME: Look BITCH, this is replacement food for people who are allergic to gluten. Some people can't have wheat and it sucks for them because the diet takes a lot of adjustment and the food is expensive. For some families it creates a bit of hardship. I'm really annoyed by how insensitive you are. [I threw her refund at her face] By the way, you're fat.
Okay...maybe that is not how the conversation ended. That is how it would have ended if today was my last day on the job. Rewind...
RYAN: Is the product still good?
WOMAN: Oh, it tastes like dirt. I need food that tastes good. [she laughs again]
ME: The product is still good, she just didn't want it. [I handed the woman her refund]
Angel
A woman was buying two separate orders of groceries for whatever reason. About halfway through the first order, she changed her mind and asked me to put the two orders together in one transaction. I usually think nothing of these things. I picked up a can of Amy's Refried Beans.
ME: I love Amy's brand. I love to make Mexican recipes with this.
WOMAN: Oh yeah. That's my daughter's best friend's favorite.
ME: Aw, that's so sweet! Are you making dinner for a girls' night?
WOMAN: Oh...no. I'm buying groceries for my daughter's best friend's family. My daughter's best friend recently found out that she has a brain tumor.
ME: No way...I'm so sorry. How old is this girl?
WOMAN: 11 years old.
I paused. After a failed attempt to contemplate what that must be like for a kid that age, I continued to ask questions. Every answer that woman gave me had me more and more in disbelief.
ME: Is the tumor benign or malignant?
WOMAN: Malignant.
ME: Is she being treated at Dallas Children's?
WOMAN: Her treatment is being overseen in Boston, but she receives radiation in Dallas Children's.
ME: Can she be healed of this?
WOMAN: It doesn't look good. We hope so.
ME: [ handing the woman her receipt] I hope so too. You're an angel, you know.
I didn't know this woman personally but all I wanted to do was give her a hug. I hoped the best for that 11 year old girl and while I was so sad for her, I also felt happy for her. She has such great people who love and support her and her family, the kind of love that is the strongest medicine for healing and recovery.
F-Bomber
A woman swiped her card to pay for her groceries and my computer screen displayed a message that said, "Insufficient funds."
WOMAN: Oh no. I think there is less on the card than my total, is there a way to put in a certain amount in first on my card? I'll pay the rest in cash! I made too much fucking money last year on unemployment and I am not allowed how have much this year. [scoffs] Here's my loser card.
I looked at the card, it was a Lonestar card (foodstamps). Ryan was nearby and came over to help. He was able to find out how much money was on the card and help the woman do the transaction.
WOMAN: [handing over the rest in cash] Thank you! You're wonderful. You're probably thinking, 'Man, what a loser.'
ME: Not at all!
WOMAN: Oh thank you so much. You guys are so sweet. You know, I used to judge people who used this card all of the time, like 'Who is this fuckin' loser?' You know?
ME: [Handing her a receipt] It's cool, really. Have a nice day.
Until this woman came through my line, I had never heard any customers curse. I didn't think she was a loser at all. I'm sure this woman felt otherwise for being on food stamps, but she must have been doing better if the government was giving her less. I hoped that she would see even more prosperity, and eventually have less dependence on her Lonestar card.
Heartless Lucy
Lucy was one of my pals at work. We got along fine. For fun we would fake quarrels and pretend we don't like each other. Today, for the first time, I didn't have to pretend.
LUCY: Ugh I hate my dog.
ME: Aw! Why? What kind of dog is it?
LUCY: It's a Pomeranian Chihuahua mix. It's just bitchy and barks all of the time. It tears up all of my stuff while I'm not home and gets into my garbage.
ME: Do you have a kennel?
LUCY: No.
ME: Get a kennel and put your dog in it when you are not home.
LUCY: I'm getting rid of it.
ME: Why?
LUCY: I'm moving into an apartment.
ME: Pound or adoption?
LUCY: I'm going to find it a home.
ME: You're going to interview potential owners right?
LUCY: Yeah, I'm probably going to have a hard time letting go.
ME: Then why don't you get a kennel and see if that makes things better. When the dog misbehaves, the kennel is also good for disciplining. If your dog barks, face away and put in ear plugs. Only pay attention to it when it is behaving. Give it loads of treats when it obeys you and behaves well. You can take care of this dog. Just watch Animal Planet for Christ's sake.
LUCY: I'm moving to an apartment and I just don't want to deal with it.
ME: Then why did you get a dog in the first place?
LUCY: I didn't think it would be like this! I had a dog before! It was a lab and it was so smart and behaved well, but it died.
ME: How?
LUCY: Parvo. It was a puppy.
ME: Did you take it for shots?
LUCY: I was going to. It probably got parvo from the dog park. My roomates took my dog there without permission.
ME: Well, then did you murder your roomates? Or at the very least hate them forever?
LUCY: I know.
Lucy was telling all of this to the wrong person. I have a dog and I am fostering another. I have lived in a house with roomates who had dogs before. All dogs have the capacity to be wonderful pets. It is never a dog's fault if it misbehaves. They are like children, they require training. They require more than just food and water, the need love and attention and they will give back that love and attention more than two fold. Dogs cost money. Don't get a dog before you know how much it costs or what care is involved!
I was angry. I felt a little ridiculous for instantly not liking this girl, but honestly I didn't like her anymore. I wanted to break into her house and steal her dog. I wondered how neglected that dog was probably feeling. Lucy probably doesn't even walk it. I am going to get updates on this animal. I think I am going to find it a foster parent. Lucy may redeem herself for being a terrible owner if she makes an effort to find this dog an owner who will love it. I'm going to help.
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