Day Six

Update: Elvira

I had to work next to Elvira at the start of my shift. I asked her how she was doing when I walked into work. Her response was barely audible, the best written transcription I can come up with of the sound she made is "Urhh." She still refuses to look me in the eye or even face in my direction. I refused to give up on her. She had a customer bring in a ton of groceries so I thought I could maybe talk to her by helping her bag groceries.

ME: I can bag for you if you like.
ELVIRA: (hold your nose if you want to get her voice right) That's okay.

"That's okay," is Elvira for, "No, now go the fuck away." Elvira's shift ended one hour into my shift, thank baby Jesus. I'm not done with this one. There's a decent person in there, somewhere.


Observation:

Men never give exact change. I noticed this while I work. Women will dig out every penny if they have to. I know I like to give exact change when I can, because if I don't that change will end up at the bottom of the hopeless abyss that is my purse, and I will probably forget that change until I buy a new purse. I know many guys who empty their pockets at the end of the day and toss the remaining coins in a jar, months later to accumulate a retirement. Just an observation.

Asian Lady

Every now and then I get a customer who doesn't speak English. Silence is very uncomfortable for me, especially when it is my job to be helpful/social. This one Asian lady came up to me today and didn't respond to my greetings. After too long a period of silence, I decided to ask her how long she had been living in the US. She said she had been living here for 10 years. I asked if she had always been living in Texas, also 10 years. I noticed that these are the kinds of questions foreigners respond to, questions about them. When I rang up food items I liked I would share that with this woman, then she would tell me how she liked that food item too. I admired her, as I would admire anyone who would drop everything to set up camp in another country. I can't imagine living in another country trying to speak another language while English versions of my responses marquee across my mind. Also, I wish I had a better title for this paragraph.

Update: Crazy Red-Head Vegan

Crazy Red-Head Vegan replaced Elvira and I was ecstatic. I knew she would say something interesting, like:

CRV: Oh my god, have you tried one of these protein shakes? If you do, try the chocolate one. The vanilla one tastes like semen. It even has the consistency. Blech.

Later in the day, one of CRV's customers threw a bunch of organic lollipops in his bag and walked out. She yelled at him as he left, "SIR YOU CAN'T TAKE THOSE. STOP HIM!!!" One of the grocery baggers ran after him and retrieved the pops. It was the most exciting moment of the day. I felt like I was on Cops, the theme even began to play in my head. The man said he thought they were free because of how they were in front of the registers (even though there are signs that say 6 for $1 in front of the lollipops). Yeah whatever, punk. Book 'em.

Toward the end of our shift I heard CRV walk around toward my customer.

CRV: [to the customer] Yay! I thought I missed you, one of my favorite customers! [begins to bag his groceries] I haven't seen my other favorite customer, she always talks really loud.
ME: And nothing she says makes sense?
[CRV nods]
ME: Oh MAN, she (Crazy Buffalo Lady) said the craziest stuff to me the other day!

After I explained to her what this crazy lady said, CRV slapped my hand.

CRV: Hey, go easy on her! She was in a really bad car accident and suffered brain damage. She really does have a sister with cancer, it's really sad.

I felt like an ass. I really was quick to make fun of that lady, I never stopped to think why she might be that way. I should be more compassionate. My introversion stopped abruptly at CRV's next comment.

CRV: Actually I have another favorite customer, but I haven't seen him around [she laughs]. He's probably in jail.
ME: What would he be in jail for?
CRV: Oh, I don't want to tell you, you'll think poorly of him.
ME: Oh, c'mon.

She proceeds to tell me about how this guy she claims to be her "B.F.F." had to move out of California because he was at the scene of a crime where a girl was murdered. Apparently he gives too much detail and he was talking about it openly to her while checking out groceries. After he left, the next customer said, "Um, I think he was the guy who killed that girl." She agreed. After telling me this story, I responded:

ME: Oh. My. God.
CRV: See this is why I didn't want to tell you. Now you're bein' all judgmental. That's what I'm gonna call you from now on, "Judgmental Miranda."

I guess criminals need food too. I wondered how many felons I have checked out in my line. Was I the only one who was nice to them that day? Have these criminals ever thought of okaynevermindIdon'twanttothinkaboutthisanymore!

The rest of the shift with Crazy Red-Head Vegan was a blast. We sang songs, talked diet and laughed a lot together in general. Sometimes Sally spec would join us to bag groceries, it turns out she is pretty crazy herself. Positivity can make a positive impact on an environment and negativity can make a negative impact. The same could be said about the impact of "lunacy." Of that, we were the trifecta.