Day Fifty

Last day. Why should things be any different?

Cool Mom #1

A woman rolled up to my register with five kids. I wasn't sure if they were her adopted kids or if some of them were her kids' friends. They looked like a United Colors of Benetton ad. The mom began to hand me an endless amount of things for me to put back on the shelves.

MOM: I let the kids pick whatever they want off the shelves. I love seeing them enjoy grocery shopping.

Aren't you the coolest mom ever? There are other ways of seeing that your kid enjoy grocery shopping. It doesn't have to involve making the cashiers do more work than necessary. Any ignorant d-bag may think, "Well, they get paid to put these things back," and this person would be an ignorant d-bag.

Facebook

Oy, Facebook adds. I took out a strip of receipt paper to write down the full names of the people I liked at this store. I figured that at some point I would take this grocery blog down and "friend" these people. I decided I would keep this paper safe. I really did want to know how these people were doing later on, not just for the purposes of being friends but to also write an epilogue.

Cool Mom #2

A little girl picked a lollipop out of the container in front of my register as her mom unloaded the grocery cart. The mom saw her and didn't give her kid a chance to ask for it.

MOM: Put it back.
GIRL: [whining a little] But I want it.
MOM:  [taking the pop and putting it back in the container] There are a lot of things I want too. Doesn't mean I'm gonna get it.

Hold the phone. That was a strange choice of words. It almost seemed like the mom was projecting what was probably her own sad life on to her daughter. The kid tried to grab a lollipop again, but her mom gripped her daughter's wrist, pulling her away from the container.

MOM: Stop it right now. I will spank you right here in front of everyone.

I wanted so badly to give this kid a free lollipop but I knew her mom would get mad. The girl sneezed. The mom said nothing, she was clearly still mad at her daughter. She didn't show concern, concern is apparently for the weak. The girl sneezed again and rubbed her nose. The mom said nothing again so I leaned over to the girl.

ME: [whispered] Bless you.

The little girl smiled.

Update: Gaythan

I had this theme from the movie "Up" stuck in my head.

My brass quintet had recently played this theme for an Alzheimer's clinic and it had not left my mind. I couldn't stop singing it at my register. When the lines were empty, I turned around and began to dance a waltz with Gaythan. We waltzed until a female customer came along. She smiled at us and we all laughed. After this customer left Gaythan turned to me.

GAYTHAN: I have never slow danced with anyone before. You are the first person I have ever slow danced with. Thank you.

It technically wasn't a slow dance, it was a waltz, but I'm sure that it was the closest thing to a slow dance Gaythan has ever had. I am pretty sure he knew he was gay shortly after birth. He probably didn't go to a high school where it was okay for boys to dance together at the prom. My heart melted.

ME: It was my honor. [I courtesied]


Buffalo Man

A man and his elderly father came through my line with a lot of produce. I grabbed a green bell pepper and I was about to enter the PLU code when the man became startled.

MAN: That's a pepper.
ME: I got it. [I smiled at him]

MAN: You'll have to forgive me. I'm jumpy. You can thank my horrible mother for that.

Damn. Horrible mother?

MAN: That woman put me and my brother and my dad through the worst time. Makes hell look like rest and relaxation. I used to like grapes but children stomp on them and treat the fruit with such disregard.

The father asked me to put the grapes at the top of the bag. He understood what his son was trying to say. This was no ordinary rant. The son had brain damage. I smiled at whatever the son said and tried often to steer the conversation in a more positive direction. He talked like Snaggle Puss which made it entertaining for me. He talked about how he was a miracle child because he was born in his parents' 40s.

ME: You are indeed a miracle child.
DAD: [looking at my name tag] Miranda. You have a pretty name.
SON: You have a pretty smile.

I wished them a nice day. I admired that father for taking care of his son. I hoped that everyone they meet would treat them well. People need to be treated with care.

All people.

Goodbye

It had been a while since I got to work in a register next to Hero, whose stolen sandwich launched the stingwich operation. It was poetic that he and I would be closing the store together, he was my favorite coworker. I had to explain to him too that I couldn't add him on Facebook yet, but that I would eventually. He asked me if I would eventually tell him why I couldn't add him right away. I told him I would explain. I trusted him more than my other coworkers to keep this blog a secret, but I didn't want to share it with him until it was done.

I bought dark chocolate covered almonds for the remaining cashiers and Banshee.  The store was pretty dead so we all chatted away. Banshee had educated me on "Dudism". A religion has apparently been built based on The Dude from "The Big Lebowski". Banshee told me that her husband is a Dudist priest. He marries people off in a bathrobe.

When the time came, I got goodbye hugs from Copycat and Gaythan. Hero and I chatted during downtimes to the end of our shift. I told him about how I got O.C.Daisy written up. He told me that Elvira had also been talking about me behind my back too.

HERO: She said, "Why would she get a job she hates? Why go through all the paperwork?"

When the hell did I say I hate this job? She hinted at my inconveniencing the management. There is no chain grocery store job  that doesn't have a turnover rate after summer...Elvira. Other than O.C.Daisy there was no one else at the store to whom I gave as much of the benefit of the doubt. She had nothing to gain from being so grumpy and bitchy to me. Part of me wanted to bake her a yellow cake and write "Cheer the fuck up" on it.

It was time to close. Hero let me walk out of the store first. I went into the office with Banshee to count down my till. I got her full name so I could add her on Facebook.

BANSHEE: I'm sad that you're leaving. All of the cool people are leaving! [Crazy Red Head Vegan] left, (Heartless) Lucy left and now you're leaving!

I was going to miss Banshee too. I was glad to see that she was going to be okay. After counting down my till, I stopped by to say goodbye to Emmy.

EMMY: Good luck with your new job! We want you to know that for whatever reason if you want to come back you are 100% rehireable!
ME: How is that possible?
EMMY: We like you!
ME: I like you guys too! Thanks!

I could not believe that I was rehireable. I was late enough times to be fired three times over. I'm glad my personality made up for that. I have never heard of a place this lenient. I gave Emmy a hug and then I walked up to a register 7 and 8 and picked up the phone to make the closing announcement before I walked out.

            Good evening customers. The time is 10PM and our store is now closed. Please make your final selections and bring them up to the front so you may be checked out. Our store opens tomorrow at 7AM. We hope to see you again and as always, thank you for shopping at...