Day Forty Nine

Update: The Infamous Patti

I came to work with a container full of organic cherry tomatoes from my garden. I brought them for Patti because I told her I would bring her some before my last day. I found out that she went to the hospital last night because there was something wrong with her pancreas. She would be released from the hospital today but would have to stay home for a few days. I was glad Patti was okay but I was a little sad that I didn't get to give her a proper goodbye.

Update: Cake Eyes & Klepto Sue

Cake Eyes worked in the register next to me for the first two hours of my shift. She didn't say a word to me the entire time. I didn't care. I was happy to see her replaced by Klepto Sue. Sue is more fun to talk to. I asked Sue if she would like to try the cherry tomatoes that I brought. She scooped up half the harvest into her hands and put them in her lunch bag.

SUE: Thank you!

This was my fault. I should have said, "Would you like to try ONE?" That last time I was this unclear, three trick-or-treaters took out 2/3 of the candy bowl on Halloween.

I noticed that Sue has become comfortable with some of the female cashiers. We could tell because she has begun to bump hips with all of us. Also, for whatever reason, she was slapping everyone on the butt today. I guess some people do it as a sign of comradery or affirmation like in the NBA, but I didn't care for it. I stood sideways so that I could keep Sue in my peripheral and avoid any hand-to-butt contact.

Brat

A man walked up followed by his daughter who had her hands cupped together. He turned around and looked at his daughter, puzzled.

MAN: What's that in your hand?
GIRL: Daddy, it's just a little bit.
MAN: We are not getting that.
GIRL: Yes we are. [she walked in front of her dad and placed a little bag of chocolate covered nuts on the belt]

MAN: [In an angry whisper] You pick those up right now and put them back!

I thought I saw fire come out of his eyes. This was a teaching moment that I didn't want to interrupt. The little girl pushed her father aside, grunted, and stomped back to the bulk section. Thankfully she didn't actually empty the chocolate back into the bin, she just placed the bag nearby. She walked over to the door and stood fuming with crossed arms. The dad apologized to me. I thought nothing of it. I have seen some parents publicly spank their kids into submission. It seemed that he would correct the situation at home instead of in a public place. Smart man.

Update: Elvira

I was walking back from taking a break when I found out I would be working next to Elvira. I took my till to my register.

ME: Hello!
ELVIRA: Ugh, you? You give me a headache.
ME: Likewise.
ELVIRA: You talk too much.

At first I thought she was joking. Then it didn't seem so. There was only one thing to do...be annoyingly talkative with other people around Elvira at a higher than normal volume level.

Ew...

A mom and her young daughter walked up to my line. This girl looked like Punky Brewster, freckles, pigtails and colorful clothes. The girl fixed her eyes upon the organic lollipop container.

GIRL: Mom! Can I have one of these! It says they're free!
ME & MOM: No they're not. [in unison]
GIRL: It says something free!

I laughed.

ME: It says that the lollipops are gluten-free.
GIRL: [her eyes widened] Gluten?! Ew...
MOM: Honey, gluten is in everything you eat.

The misinformed girl's face turned disgusted and mistrusting. "Gluten" does sound like it could be something gross. I offered her a free lollipop for the laugh.

GIRL: I'll pass. [she dramatically waved her hand in rejection]

Update: Banshee

Banshee stood at the end of my register to help bag groceries.

BANSHEE: Hey there.
ME: Hey. How are you?
BANSHEE: You know, I feel better today than I have in a while.

She told me all about what happened. She did have an IUD. Somehow she got pregnant and with what was essentially half of a baby. She recounted the graphic details of what happened. Doctors couldn't figure out what happened. It was a painful ordeal to bring her back to health and she was still stumped as to what happened. We didn't talk about it long.

I noticed her tattoo on her arm. It was the insignia from Star Trek.

ME: Are you a Trekkie?
BANSHEE: Very much so.

She told me about how she met Patrick Stewart at Comic Con and how she burst into tears at the sight of him. She grew up watching Star Trek with her dad. It was how they connected. When she watches the show she thinks of her father.

We eventually talked about what she missed while she was gone. I told her that her "No Shit Talking Rule" had done a bunk since O.C.Daisy was likely to get away with talking shit about me.

BANSHEE: Oh, so that's why she got a write-up.
ME: What?
BANSHEE: Daisy got a write-up.
ME: No fucking way. The system works?
BANSHEE: Yup, and head cashiers only get a first and final warning. Then after that you're fired.

Wow.

I couldn't believe that anything I said made any difference at all. I was really proud of my managers for hearing me out.

There goes my peace with Daisy.