Day Forty Eight

Hot Commodity

One of the worst first world problems you can have in Texas is having the A/C in your car break down in the summer. Add to that the fact that my car has a black leather interior (I bought the car in the winter, it was a great idea then). The temperature was above 100 degrees outside, a sweltering heat that my car welcomed in with open...doors. After 30 minutes of driving I was drenched in sweat. I walked in the office and asked my manager if I could buy another ugly green t-shirt. Grumpy Gill gave me one for free. That was very nice of him. Before changing I stepped into the walk-in freezer and remained there for six minutes to dry off. Then I clocked in, on time.

[hold for applause]

Update: Banshee

Banshee came back to work today. Her stomach was flat and she looked more like when I first met her. It was so sad to see. I didn't want to bother her about what happened. I figured if she wanted to talk about it, she would.

As my shift went on, I found that Banshee would walk by me just as I would say the absolute WRONG thing to a customer.

EXAMPLE NO. 1

A little boy strolled up to my line in the grocery cart his mom was pushing. He would hand me items and I would scan them. I tried to scan something that required a code and my register all but screamed at me.

ME: Bugger!
BOY: Buggaahhhh!

He was at that age where you have to be extremely careful about what you say. The mom laughed. We gabbed about babies and I told the woman that I wasn't allowed to buy anything baby-related for a month because I kept wanting to buy all of Target's baby section.

WOMAN: Why?
ME: My nephew will be born in a month. I can't stop buying every cute thing I see.
WOMAN: That's what nephews do to aunties.
ME: He's not even born yet and I'm a shopaholic.

...and Banshee walks by. Damn it.

EXAMPLE NO. 2

A male customer walked up to my register.

ME: How are you doing today?
MAN: [grumbles irritatedly]
ME: Okay, bad day...Forget I asked! Abort!

...and Banshee walks by. Damn it. I'm such an ass.

She-Wolf

A girl came into my line with a face fully painted like a wolf. She growled and pretended to chew on all of the grocery items her mom put on my belt. I noticed that she picked up carrots.

ME: I have never heard of a wolf that like carrots.
MOM: This wolf is a vegetarian.
GIRL: [still speaking like a growling wolf] I'm gonna eat these carrots like Bugs Bunny!

Although unrelated to her looking like a wolf, I was elated that she even knows who Bugs Bunny is. That meant so many things, the best of which being that she is being exposed to some classical music! Wagner! Rossini! Mozart!

ME: Good wolf. Watch all the Bugs Bunny you can, especially the older ones. Okay?
GIRL: Rowr!!
ME: Is that a yes?

Snob Daughter

I was honestly not paying much attention to this customer because she was plainly cordial like many of the customers I don't write about. This was until her daughter walked up wanting to buy something.


GIRL: Can I get this?
MOM: No.
GIRL: Are you serious? You are getting all of this other junk food but you will not spare $1.79 for a bag of seaweed chips?
MOM: [no response]
GIRL: Hello?!
MOM:[no response]

It was all I could do to not give that mom a high five right there. Again, once upon a time, I was that snotty daughter disrespectfully requesting food items from my mom at checkout. My mom was her mom. My mom did the right thing as this mom did. I have to make a point of calling my mom to thank her for saying, "No." Hopefully that daughter will thank her mom one day too.

New Blood

Two new cashiers were in training. This store is ready for me to go! I went over to bag groceries for one of them. The cashier I was helping scanned a few items for a customer, then stopped every once in a while to find PLU codes. When she couldn't find a code she asked me for help. I then found myself giving her code after code without her asking for help, like a nervous tick I couldn't get rid of. I had to stop myself!


ME: I'm so sorry. It is easier for you to memorize codes  by looking them up over and over, so I'm going to shut up now.
CASHIER: [laughs] Thanks.

Ugh. I'm glad that I remembered that what seems helpful isn't helpful at all in this situation. The two new girls are nice. I forgot their names already. If they do anything of note in my last two days, they will at least get a nickname.

Old Man #13

An old man was about to walk into Klepto Sue's line when he saw that my line was empty. Sue was finishing up with a customer.


OLD MAN: [walking over to me] I'm going to go to the friendliest cashier here!
ME: How do you know I am friendly?
OLD MAN: Because you talk to me. You ask me questions.
ME: Oh! So how is your day going?
OLD MAN: That's the kind of thing you say!