Update: O.C.Daisy
I had a 12PM-8PM shift. It's an interesting shift to work because you are with all of the people who worked the early morning shifts. They are exhausted and they are counting the hours until they leave. The rest of your shift involves the exit of the tired morning people and the entrance of the well rested people who have afternoon shifts.
Today's A.M. crew included Mad Kathy, Cake Eyes, Klepto Sue and Elvira. Cake Eyes was the first person to go home. She went home with her usual giant bottles of chardonnay. Klepto Sue came to help bag groceries at the end of my register whenever it was slow. She is always good for conversation. Mad Kathy was tired and didn't talk a whole ton. I ignored Elvira, as I planned to for the rest of my time at the store. Being nice to her, like being nice to O.C.Daisy, was a waste of energy.
O.C.Daisy was the head cashier taking over for Banshee. Apparently Banshee had been gone for a few days and head cashiers have been taking over for her. She did look more pale than usual the last time I saw her. I hoped she was okay. O.C.Daisy walked up to the end of my register to help bag groceries.
DAISY: How are you doing?
I didn't respond. I was done hoping that Daisy would reveal a nicer version of herself. Mad Kathy asked me how I was doing. I told her I found out that my battery had died. Daisy was listening to our conversation.
DAISY: Awwww!
ME: [verbally snapped] Don't act like you're concerned.
DAISY: What?
I hated myself for being mean. I have nothing to gain from being so pissed off at OCD. Being angry never hurts the the one you're angry at as much as it hurts you. Who said that? The Dalai Lama? Damn you and all your truth, Dalai. I needed to get this off my chest so I went straight to Grumpy Gill's office.
ME: Gill, I'm sure you're busy, but if you have a moment today may we talk?
GILL: We can talk now, come on in.
I was nervous. What does the shitty, late-all-of-the-time employee say to convince the general manager that a head cashier needs correcting?
ME: Before I say anything I would like to say that I am aware that I am not always the best employee. I am am totally aware of that. I am also aware that I am leaving and that nothing I say is going to really matter but I feel that I need to say something.
GILL: I actually think you're a great employee.
ME: Really? (Seriously, what?)
GILL: Yeah! I have seen you interact with your customers. You are great with them. I couldn't ask for more.
ME: I'm not a model cashier.
GILL: Sure, there are things to work on, but you know. What did you want to say?
I had to stop being shocked at his assessment of me so I could tell him why I was there. I told him about how Daisy talked about me behind my back to Gaythan. He said Emmy had let him know what happened (Yes. Good job Emmy.) He told me that the managers would address the problem. It wasn't about me anymore. I didn't want any of my coworkers to hate this job because they had a mean, two-faced head cashier, talking shit about people to their friends and making the working environment unpleasant. I didn't mention how fake she seems, how bad her hair looks or how toothless people have no business insulting others. I thanked Gill for listening to me. I told him how much I appreciated working at this store all summer.
GILL: I knew you had to go. You are highly over-qualified for this job, we get that. We were glad to have you.
ME: It isn't about qualifications. This is a great job for people who have the capacity to enjoy it. I'm glad I got to work for a team of managers that like the company they work for. It made this job more fun to do.
GILL: Thank you.
ME: I loved the customers. I love people. I like to write a lot and I wrote a lot of my customer interactions down in prose.
GILL: Really? I would love to read that.
ME: Sure! I will send you some excerpts.
I really will send him a few excerpts. I think I will be leaving out the ones where he is called Grumpy Gill, and anything about the stingwich. I think I will just send him entries about the kids and the old people.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Day Forty Five
Party
I got invited to two parties today. The first invitation was from Klepto Sue for a party on Saturday. She told me that there would be spiked punch and jello shots. I imagined that everyone would be ten years younger than me with no ambitions or intelligent things to say. That's a terrible thing to assume. I told her I couldn't because I had to wake up at 6am the next morning to sing at a church service. The good thing about my not being able to make it is while Klepto Sue is nice to me and we laugh at work, I didn't feel inclined to know her in a greater capacity than being her coworker. I didn't want her to give me a reason to not like her. I felt it was a good decision.
Jacob, one of my favorite gays at the store invited me to another party on Saturday as well. This one I would have definitely attended if it would have started earlier than 11pm. I gave him the same excuse as Klepto Sue. Two party invites. I felt cool and accepted. Then I laughed at myself for having such high school sentiments.
Herb
A guy walked up to my register in baggy clothing and a backwards cap.
GUY: Dude, is this herbal?
ME: That is a honey stick. I'm not sure about herbs but I hear that local honey is good for allergies.
The guy laughed EXACTLY like Butthead.
GUY: Okay, I'll take two. [still laughing]
After I gave him a total of 67 cents he reached into one of his baggy pockets and pulled out a GIANT folded wad of cash. It barely fit in his hand. He flipped through several bills to find a one dollar bill and then handed it to me.
ME: [after handing him his receipt] Have a nice day!
GUY: I will now! [waving the honey sticks in the air]
I'm sure he was stoned, but he was cartoonishly stoned. Gaythan witnessed this with me.
ME: He acted like the actors you see on anti-marijuana commercials before they do something outlandishly uncharacteristic, like run over a little girl on a bike.
GAYTHAN: And the huge wad of cash? What was that all about?
ME: Maybe he is on his way to a strip club.
GAYTHAN: Maybe he is the worst drug dealer ever and he was actually trying to sell you something.
ME:"Herbal" was code for "I have weed"? That would be so confusing in a grocery store.
GAYTHAN: Do dealers even speak in code?
ME: I would imagine they make literal conversation when they meet clients in dark alleys.
GAYTHAN: Yes, because all drugs are purchased in dark alleys.
ME: Maybe our transaction was part of a sting operation and the "dealer" is a rookie cop, unlikely to catch anyone.
GAYTHAN: The possibilities are endless.
Rogue Corn
I was bagging several ears of corn for a male customer when the bag split and all six ears of corn fell to my feet. I'm glad he laughed about it.
MAN: The corn is saying [in a high pitched voice] 'don't eat meeeee!!'
This made me laugh so hard. I immediately pictured six ears of corn with feet running away for fear of their lives. I gave the man his total and continued to laugh.
ME: I'm sorry I have to draw for you what I am seeing in my head.
The woman who was next in line looked unhappy and shook her head.
WOMAN: You know, I don't really have time for this.
ME: Ma'am. I am waiting for this credit card reading to be complete. By drawing this corn, I am not taking any time away from your transaction. I promise.
She shut up and rightly so. It took me no more than 10 seconds to draw the following:
Update: O.C.Daisy
The store was kind of empty. I asked Daisy if I could go use the restroom. She said it was okay so I walked off, leaving Gaythan and Daisy standing at our register. When I came back, Gaythan told me what Daisy said under her breath as I was walking away.
GAYTHAN: She said, "I'm glad she is leaving cause I'm sick of her attitude."
That BITCH.
That was it. I was officially sick of O.C.Daisy's two-faced bullshit. I walked over to Emmy, the manager on duty. I asked her if we could talk in the office. I explained to her what Daisy said. I explained that Daisy ruins what would otherwise be a pleasant working environment with her shit talking and her fake niceties. She put another coworker of mine in an uncomfortable situation by talking shit about me. I admitted to Emmy that I turned in my two week notice early because I found out that Daisy was promoted.
EMMY: That's so weird. She has always been nice to me.
ME: Of course she has been to you, you're her boss!
EMMY: Maybe she was mad because you did come in here and you learned everything really fast.
ME: I don't care why she hates me. She can hate me all she wants as long as she cooperates in making this a nice place to work. She has failed to do that several times and I have kept my mouth shut about it. I know I'm leaving and that nothing I say matters, but I don't think she has any business being a head cashier because she is an awful person and none of the younger employees respect her!
I got quiet. Emmy acknowledged what I said. She said it might be tough to do anything because Gaythan would have to be the witness and file a report. Gaythan told me he didn't want to be involved in any drama because he has to continue working there, unlike me. I didn't blame him. I didn't expect that Emmy would say anything to the other managers. I decided I would talk to Grumpy Gill the next day I work. He is the man in charge after all. It may get nothing accomplished but I will speak my mind. I am no longer going to give O.C.Daisy the benefit of the doubt.
I got invited to two parties today. The first invitation was from Klepto Sue for a party on Saturday. She told me that there would be spiked punch and jello shots. I imagined that everyone would be ten years younger than me with no ambitions or intelligent things to say. That's a terrible thing to assume. I told her I couldn't because I had to wake up at 6am the next morning to sing at a church service. The good thing about my not being able to make it is while Klepto Sue is nice to me and we laugh at work, I didn't feel inclined to know her in a greater capacity than being her coworker. I didn't want her to give me a reason to not like her. I felt it was a good decision.
Jacob, one of my favorite gays at the store invited me to another party on Saturday as well. This one I would have definitely attended if it would have started earlier than 11pm. I gave him the same excuse as Klepto Sue. Two party invites. I felt cool and accepted. Then I laughed at myself for having such high school sentiments.
Herb
A guy walked up to my register in baggy clothing and a backwards cap.
GUY: Dude, is this herbal?
ME: That is a honey stick. I'm not sure about herbs but I hear that local honey is good for allergies.
The guy laughed EXACTLY like Butthead.
GUY: Okay, I'll take two. [still laughing]
After I gave him a total of 67 cents he reached into one of his baggy pockets and pulled out a GIANT folded wad of cash. It barely fit in his hand. He flipped through several bills to find a one dollar bill and then handed it to me.
ME: [after handing him his receipt] Have a nice day!
GUY: I will now! [waving the honey sticks in the air]
I'm sure he was stoned, but he was cartoonishly stoned. Gaythan witnessed this with me.
ME: He acted like the actors you see on anti-marijuana commercials before they do something outlandishly uncharacteristic, like run over a little girl on a bike.
GAYTHAN: And the huge wad of cash? What was that all about?
ME: Maybe he is on his way to a strip club.
GAYTHAN: Maybe he is the worst drug dealer ever and he was actually trying to sell you something.
ME:"Herbal" was code for "I have weed"? That would be so confusing in a grocery store.
GAYTHAN: Do dealers even speak in code?
ME: I would imagine they make literal conversation when they meet clients in dark alleys.
GAYTHAN: Yes, because all drugs are purchased in dark alleys.
ME: Maybe our transaction was part of a sting operation and the "dealer" is a rookie cop, unlikely to catch anyone.
GAYTHAN: The possibilities are endless.
Rogue Corn
I was bagging several ears of corn for a male customer when the bag split and all six ears of corn fell to my feet. I'm glad he laughed about it.
MAN: The corn is saying [in a high pitched voice] 'don't eat meeeee!!'
This made me laugh so hard. I immediately pictured six ears of corn with feet running away for fear of their lives. I gave the man his total and continued to laugh.
ME: I'm sorry I have to draw for you what I am seeing in my head.
The woman who was next in line looked unhappy and shook her head.
WOMAN: You know, I don't really have time for this.
ME: Ma'am. I am waiting for this credit card reading to be complete. By drawing this corn, I am not taking any time away from your transaction. I promise.
She shut up and rightly so. It took me no more than 10 seconds to draw the following:
Update: O.C.Daisy
The store was kind of empty. I asked Daisy if I could go use the restroom. She said it was okay so I walked off, leaving Gaythan and Daisy standing at our register. When I came back, Gaythan told me what Daisy said under her breath as I was walking away.
GAYTHAN: She said, "I'm glad she is leaving cause I'm sick of her attitude."
That BITCH.
That was it. I was officially sick of O.C.Daisy's two-faced bullshit. I walked over to Emmy, the manager on duty. I asked her if we could talk in the office. I explained to her what Daisy said. I explained that Daisy ruins what would otherwise be a pleasant working environment with her shit talking and her fake niceties. She put another coworker of mine in an uncomfortable situation by talking shit about me. I admitted to Emmy that I turned in my two week notice early because I found out that Daisy was promoted.
EMMY: That's so weird. She has always been nice to me.
ME: Of course she has been to you, you're her boss!
EMMY: Maybe she was mad because you did come in here and you learned everything really fast.
ME: I don't care why she hates me. She can hate me all she wants as long as she cooperates in making this a nice place to work. She has failed to do that several times and I have kept my mouth shut about it. I know I'm leaving and that nothing I say matters, but I don't think she has any business being a head cashier because she is an awful person and none of the younger employees respect her!
I got quiet. Emmy acknowledged what I said. She said it might be tough to do anything because Gaythan would have to be the witness and file a report. Gaythan told me he didn't want to be involved in any drama because he has to continue working there, unlike me. I didn't blame him. I didn't expect that Emmy would say anything to the other managers. I decided I would talk to Grumpy Gill the next day I work. He is the man in charge after all. It may get nothing accomplished but I will speak my mind. I am no longer going to give O.C.Daisy the benefit of the doubt.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Day Forty Four
Update: Cake Eyes
Another morning opening with Cake Eyes. I grabbed three samples of coffee and shot them down at my register, waiting for my face to lift. I didn't have the energy to see the best in people today. I couldn't help but feel that my last week was going to be miserable and people were going to be mean. I wasn't going to start a conversation with Cake Eyes even though neither of us had customers. I just kept my eyes down.
CAKE EYES: So I hear you're quitting.
I couldn't believe my ears. I slowly moved my head up. Was Cake Eyes talking to me? She was.
ME: Yeah. I got new work related to my professional field.
CAKE EYES: When does it start?
ME: Right now I am juggling all three jobs and I'm not sleeping much. I'm just trying to make it to work on time.
CAKE EYES: And how's that working out for ya?
ME: [I laughed] I know...I got three hours of sleep last night. It sucks. Do you lose sleep from back pain?
CAKE EYES: Actually I sleep well. That is my one saving grace.
I was surprised that Cake Eyes would use any of the air in her lungs to start a pleasant conversation with me. Later on we talked about wine. She told me that she used to love wine from Australia. Her ex-husband was from there. I had recently had an Australian wine at a great bar in Dallas. C.E. lived 3 minutes from the store and said she doesn't go far out of town. She asked me about where I live. To get to the grocery store usually took 30 minutes. To the church I work for and the university, 40 minutes. If my shift ever started near rush hour my commute took longer. I think she finally understood why I didn't always make it to work on time. Oh, to be understood!
Update: Crazy Red Head Vegan
Crazy Red Head Vegan was a no-show yesterday. She didn't make it to her shift today either. I found out from Emmy that CRV would no longer work at the store. It seemed to be an appropriate exit. I couldn't imagine a big weird/hilarious farewell from Crazy Red Head Vegan. I thought about what this meant. No more drama, mood swings, ill-timed inappropriate dialogue, or unsolicited advice to strangers about how they should give up meat. I wondered if this meant that nothing interesting would happen in my last seven days as a cashier.
Hard Ginger
A woman came into my line to buy crystallized ginger.
ME: How is this? Does it taste good?
WOMAN: Heavens no. I'm taking it because I am sick.
ME: Ginger is supposed to be really good for you though!
WOMAN: Doesn't sound appetizing.
ME: I used to hate ginger and now I love it, especially when I cook Indian food. Tastes change over time. I remember that used to hate the taste of cheesecake.
WOMAN: Ugh. Now there's something I wish would make me feel better.
Medicinal cheesecake? Yes! Somebody please make that happen.
The Nutritionist
A little girl and her mom walked into my line and like many kids before her she was drawn to the container of lollipops.
GIRL: What is this?
The mom continued to unpack her grocery cart.
GIRL: Organic lollipops? What does this say? [slowly read] U-S-D-A Organic. It must really be organic!
The mom organized food items on the belt.
GIRL: Naturally flavored too! Let's see. There's watermelon, mango and blueberry? Blueberry is so good for you!
The mom opened her bag to get her checkbook out.
GIRL: And they're gluten-free! This is the healthiest lollipop you can get!
MOM: I want you to know that I'm not listening to you.
Defeated, the girl moved forward so the mom could pay for groceries. I smiled because that little girl was a younger version of me. The mom was a younger version of my mother. The little girl may not understand it now, but one day she will be glad her mom didn't give her everything she asked for. Her candy rejection aside, I think this girl could have a career in marketing.
The Sampler
The store was pretty busy at one point and every cashier had at least four people in line. My next customer walked up wearing a nice perfume. I decided to compliment her on it.
ME: I like your perfume!
WOMAN: I'm not wearing any perfume.
ME: Really?
Huh. Who was I smelling? I turned around and asked Mad Kathy if she was wearing perfume. She said no. Up next in line was a gentleman.This guy was unshaven and wearing plaid. I didn't want to ask if he was wearing a floral perfume. Well, to each his own but it wasn't likely. After he left the scent remained and grew stronger.
KATHY: Now I smell it too. Where is that coming from?
My next two customers were a couple and though the smell got stronger when they walked up, I could tell by the sneer on their faces and the filtering of their breaths through their t-shirts that it wasn't them. Next in line was a woman and her young son. The scent became almost to strong for me to handle. That was when the woman spoke up.
WOMAN: I'm so sorry.
ME: Why?
WOMAN: We were in the health and beauty section and my son asked me if he could spray a perfume sample on me. I let him do it.
ME: That's kind of cute!
WOMAN: Well, what I didn't know was that after he tested one on me he tested the rest of the perfumes on himself.
I looked down at the little boy. He was halfway hiding behind his mom, gripping her leg. Poor thing! He couldn't hide what he did from anyone within a 15 foot radius!
Another morning opening with Cake Eyes. I grabbed three samples of coffee and shot them down at my register, waiting for my face to lift. I didn't have the energy to see the best in people today. I couldn't help but feel that my last week was going to be miserable and people were going to be mean. I wasn't going to start a conversation with Cake Eyes even though neither of us had customers. I just kept my eyes down.
CAKE EYES: So I hear you're quitting.
I couldn't believe my ears. I slowly moved my head up. Was Cake Eyes talking to me? She was.
ME: Yeah. I got new work related to my professional field.
CAKE EYES: When does it start?
ME: Right now I am juggling all three jobs and I'm not sleeping much. I'm just trying to make it to work on time.
CAKE EYES: And how's that working out for ya?
ME: [I laughed] I know...I got three hours of sleep last night. It sucks. Do you lose sleep from back pain?
CAKE EYES: Actually I sleep well. That is my one saving grace.
I was surprised that Cake Eyes would use any of the air in her lungs to start a pleasant conversation with me. Later on we talked about wine. She told me that she used to love wine from Australia. Her ex-husband was from there. I had recently had an Australian wine at a great bar in Dallas. C.E. lived 3 minutes from the store and said she doesn't go far out of town. She asked me about where I live. To get to the grocery store usually took 30 minutes. To the church I work for and the university, 40 minutes. If my shift ever started near rush hour my commute took longer. I think she finally understood why I didn't always make it to work on time. Oh, to be understood!
Update: Crazy Red Head Vegan
Crazy Red Head Vegan was a no-show yesterday. She didn't make it to her shift today either. I found out from Emmy that CRV would no longer work at the store. It seemed to be an appropriate exit. I couldn't imagine a big weird/hilarious farewell from Crazy Red Head Vegan. I thought about what this meant. No more drama, mood swings, ill-timed inappropriate dialogue, or unsolicited advice to strangers about how they should give up meat. I wondered if this meant that nothing interesting would happen in my last seven days as a cashier.
Hard Ginger
A woman came into my line to buy crystallized ginger.
ME: How is this? Does it taste good?
WOMAN: Heavens no. I'm taking it because I am sick.
ME: Ginger is supposed to be really good for you though!
WOMAN: Doesn't sound appetizing.
ME: I used to hate ginger and now I love it, especially when I cook Indian food. Tastes change over time. I remember that used to hate the taste of cheesecake.
WOMAN: Ugh. Now there's something I wish would make me feel better.
Medicinal cheesecake? Yes! Somebody please make that happen.
The Nutritionist
A little girl and her mom walked into my line and like many kids before her she was drawn to the container of lollipops.
GIRL: What is this?
The mom continued to unpack her grocery cart.
GIRL: Organic lollipops? What does this say? [slowly read] U-S-D-A Organic. It must really be organic!
The mom organized food items on the belt.
GIRL: Naturally flavored too! Let's see. There's watermelon, mango and blueberry? Blueberry is so good for you!
The mom opened her bag to get her checkbook out.
GIRL: And they're gluten-free! This is the healthiest lollipop you can get!
MOM: I want you to know that I'm not listening to you.
Defeated, the girl moved forward so the mom could pay for groceries. I smiled because that little girl was a younger version of me. The mom was a younger version of my mother. The little girl may not understand it now, but one day she will be glad her mom didn't give her everything she asked for. Her candy rejection aside, I think this girl could have a career in marketing.
The Sampler
The store was pretty busy at one point and every cashier had at least four people in line. My next customer walked up wearing a nice perfume. I decided to compliment her on it.
ME: I like your perfume!
WOMAN: I'm not wearing any perfume.
ME: Really?
Huh. Who was I smelling? I turned around and asked Mad Kathy if she was wearing perfume. She said no. Up next in line was a gentleman.This guy was unshaven and wearing plaid. I didn't want to ask if he was wearing a floral perfume. Well, to each his own but it wasn't likely. After he left the scent remained and grew stronger.
KATHY: Now I smell it too. Where is that coming from?
My next two customers were a couple and though the smell got stronger when they walked up, I could tell by the sneer on their faces and the filtering of their breaths through their t-shirts that it wasn't them. Next in line was a woman and her young son. The scent became almost to strong for me to handle. That was when the woman spoke up.
WOMAN: I'm so sorry.
ME: Why?
WOMAN: We were in the health and beauty section and my son asked me if he could spray a perfume sample on me. I let him do it.
ME: That's kind of cute!
WOMAN: Well, what I didn't know was that after he tested one on me he tested the rest of the perfumes on himself.
I looked down at the little boy. He was halfway hiding behind his mom, gripping her leg. Poor thing! He couldn't hide what he did from anyone within a 15 foot radius!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Day Forty Three
JAY: Late much?
ME: I'm working on it!
Jay, my manager-on-duty, didn't care that I was less than two weeks away from leaving the store. Normally I would laugh about it, but I was actually glad that someone still cares about me doing better. It's either that or he feels highly disrespected by my lack of punctuality. Maybe both. I was late because I wanted to sleep as much as possible. I was so happy to get seven hours of sleep last night, but I still had more sleep to catch up on.
Old Lady #15
The store was very busy today and I was getting customers out of my line faster than my usual pace. An old lady bought a few things and her total was $5.70. I almost entered a $57,000 check into my register. It would not have gone through but I thought I would entertain my customer with the idea.
ME: I tried to get you a lot of change.
OLD LADY: How much?
ME: $56,994
OLD LADY: That check would have bounced like a hot potato!
ME: Bounced like a hot potato? I have to find some way to use that phrase!
OLD LADY: You know, I used to think it was a stupid phrase my mother used.
ME: Then you became your mother.
OLD LADY: All women do, no matter how much they fight it.
Storm Cloud
When I went on break, I noticed that one of my friends called. I had not talked to her in a week. I didn't really notice this week go by because my days were getting longer and more busy. I called her back to see what was up. In summary, I found out that an act of kindness on my behalf was viewed as attempted betrayal (she thought I made her look bad). When I assured her I meant no harm and she understood that as a possibility, she still wanted me to acknowledge my indiscretion. I was sorry that she felt so hurt, but I refused to apologize for being nice. In the end, two prideful alpha females refused to submit to the other side's view and our friendship was brought to an end. This painful conversation also took up my entire 15 minute break.
As I went back to work I put my phone in my pocket. This did not go unnoticed by Cake Eyes.
CAKE EYES: You can't have that phone up here, Miranda.
ME: Okay... [I put the phone in my pocket and walked to my register]
After that dismissive response, I slipped my phone into my drawer. "Go ahead, Cake Eyes," I thought, "Try and take my phone away." If she kept grinding my gears any further I was going to cut her head off.
"Calm down," I repeated under my breath. I ran the conversation with my friend over a couple of times in my head. I really tried to see things her way but all I could conclude was that she is insecure. I don't hurt my friends on purpose and I am usually quick to admit when I am wrong. I didn't do anything wrong. I was being punished for being nice. We all reach an age where we decide that we are unwilling to put up with bullshit. I am well past that age. I refused to let this ruin my day. Enter Elvira...
ELVIRA: Be gentle!
Elvira made me realize that I was chucking my customers' fruits and veggies to the bagger after I weighed them. I shook my head at myself. I was mad. I apologized and made a point of not taking my bad day out on the groceries.
Several more customers came through and I was way more careful with grocery items. I called out to Elvira who was one register over.
ME: Look Elvira! I'm being gentle!
ELVIRA: [frowned] Are you making fun of me?
The frown turned into a scowl. Great, now I was back on Elvira's shit list. She had obviously misinterpreted what I said. This wasn't because of her general lack of humor. I thought she and I had made progress. Who else was I going to make mad today? The next couple of hours was like walking on eggshells. Not so much because I was afraid of making anyone mad, but more because I couldn't take anymore negativity or criticism.
A woman came into my line who told me she was going to another store after grocery shopping and was considering buying a freezer bag. I told her to save her money. I went into our freezer to grab a couple small bags of ice to keep certain foods cold and I doubled bagged these cold foods to keep condensation from ruining her car's interior.
WOMAN: Oh my word. Thank you! Has anyone told you you're AWESOME today?
I froze when she said that, staring at her in disbelief.
ME: No. No one has told me that today. Thank you for saying that.
As I tore off her receipt and told this woman, "Have a nice day," tears began to well in my eyes. The next customer came up and the tears were then pouring down my face. As this customer took out his credit card to pay, I crouched down to blot my face dry with a paper towel. It was pointless, as I kept sobbing for two more customers. I had to close my line and walk away. I didn't want to cry in the office or the kitchen. I ran into the foyer and hid behind a tall display of hundreds of water bottles. I sat of the floor and cried for several minutes. Catharsis took over, releasing all the fatigue, anger, stress and imposing hatred from my system--a catharsis I needed to be able to function, triggered by the kind words of that one customer.
Once I felt better I walked back into the store and headed straight for the bulk section. I bought ten dark chocolate covered almonds and walked over to Klepto Sue's line. No one seemed to notice my leaving or question it. Sue made fun of how I only ever bought chocolate from her line. Quite possibly true. I could be known for worse things. Alleged kleptomania aside, Sue was fun to talk to. When things were not busy, she would come around to bag groceries for me.
A baby with a cupcake shirt came along. Angst-y teenagers came by wearing t-shirts that read, "Meh." The old lady who plays pickle ball came in with another matching workout jumpsuit. This time it was neon orange. I met a German lady to whom I got to show off my newly acquired German diction skills. I could tell she was German because she pronounced "still" as "shteel". Almost all of the rest of my customers increasingly put me in a better mood.
I hate to cry, I really do, but the most beautiful thing about crying is that you can really feel that first smile afterward and every smile after that is precious.
ME: I'm working on it!
Jay, my manager-on-duty, didn't care that I was less than two weeks away from leaving the store. Normally I would laugh about it, but I was actually glad that someone still cares about me doing better. It's either that or he feels highly disrespected by my lack of punctuality. Maybe both. I was late because I wanted to sleep as much as possible. I was so happy to get seven hours of sleep last night, but I still had more sleep to catch up on.
Old Lady #15
The store was very busy today and I was getting customers out of my line faster than my usual pace. An old lady bought a few things and her total was $5.70. I almost entered a $57,000 check into my register. It would not have gone through but I thought I would entertain my customer with the idea.
ME: I tried to get you a lot of change.
OLD LADY: How much?
ME: $56,994
OLD LADY: That check would have bounced like a hot potato!
ME: Bounced like a hot potato? I have to find some way to use that phrase!
OLD LADY: You know, I used to think it was a stupid phrase my mother used.
ME: Then you became your mother.
OLD LADY: All women do, no matter how much they fight it.
Storm Cloud
When I went on break, I noticed that one of my friends called. I had not talked to her in a week. I didn't really notice this week go by because my days were getting longer and more busy. I called her back to see what was up. In summary, I found out that an act of kindness on my behalf was viewed as attempted betrayal (she thought I made her look bad). When I assured her I meant no harm and she understood that as a possibility, she still wanted me to acknowledge my indiscretion. I was sorry that she felt so hurt, but I refused to apologize for being nice. In the end, two prideful alpha females refused to submit to the other side's view and our friendship was brought to an end. This painful conversation also took up my entire 15 minute break.
As I went back to work I put my phone in my pocket. This did not go unnoticed by Cake Eyes.
CAKE EYES: You can't have that phone up here, Miranda.
ME: Okay... [I put the phone in my pocket and walked to my register]
After that dismissive response, I slipped my phone into my drawer. "Go ahead, Cake Eyes," I thought, "Try and take my phone away." If she kept grinding my gears any further I was going to cut her head off.
"Calm down," I repeated under my breath. I ran the conversation with my friend over a couple of times in my head. I really tried to see things her way but all I could conclude was that she is insecure. I don't hurt my friends on purpose and I am usually quick to admit when I am wrong. I didn't do anything wrong. I was being punished for being nice. We all reach an age where we decide that we are unwilling to put up with bullshit. I am well past that age. I refused to let this ruin my day. Enter Elvira...
ELVIRA: Be gentle!
Elvira made me realize that I was chucking my customers' fruits and veggies to the bagger after I weighed them. I shook my head at myself. I was mad. I apologized and made a point of not taking my bad day out on the groceries.
Several more customers came through and I was way more careful with grocery items. I called out to Elvira who was one register over.
ME: Look Elvira! I'm being gentle!
ELVIRA: [frowned] Are you making fun of me?
The frown turned into a scowl. Great, now I was back on Elvira's shit list. She had obviously misinterpreted what I said. This wasn't because of her general lack of humor. I thought she and I had made progress. Who else was I going to make mad today? The next couple of hours was like walking on eggshells. Not so much because I was afraid of making anyone mad, but more because I couldn't take anymore negativity or criticism.
A woman came into my line who told me she was going to another store after grocery shopping and was considering buying a freezer bag. I told her to save her money. I went into our freezer to grab a couple small bags of ice to keep certain foods cold and I doubled bagged these cold foods to keep condensation from ruining her car's interior.
WOMAN: Oh my word. Thank you! Has anyone told you you're AWESOME today?
I froze when she said that, staring at her in disbelief.
ME: No. No one has told me that today. Thank you for saying that.
As I tore off her receipt and told this woman, "Have a nice day," tears began to well in my eyes. The next customer came up and the tears were then pouring down my face. As this customer took out his credit card to pay, I crouched down to blot my face dry with a paper towel. It was pointless, as I kept sobbing for two more customers. I had to close my line and walk away. I didn't want to cry in the office or the kitchen. I ran into the foyer and hid behind a tall display of hundreds of water bottles. I sat of the floor and cried for several minutes. Catharsis took over, releasing all the fatigue, anger, stress and imposing hatred from my system--a catharsis I needed to be able to function, triggered by the kind words of that one customer.
Once I felt better I walked back into the store and headed straight for the bulk section. I bought ten dark chocolate covered almonds and walked over to Klepto Sue's line. No one seemed to notice my leaving or question it. Sue made fun of how I only ever bought chocolate from her line. Quite possibly true. I could be known for worse things. Alleged kleptomania aside, Sue was fun to talk to. When things were not busy, she would come around to bag groceries for me.
A baby with a cupcake shirt came along. Angst-y teenagers came by wearing t-shirts that read, "Meh." The old lady who plays pickle ball came in with another matching workout jumpsuit. This time it was neon orange. I met a German lady to whom I got to show off my newly acquired German diction skills. I could tell she was German because she pronounced "still" as "shteel". Almost all of the rest of my customers increasingly put me in a better mood.
I hate to cry, I really do, but the most beautiful thing about crying is that you can really feel that first smile afterward and every smile after that is precious.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Day Forty Two
I came to work early before my 8am shift. I was tired, again. Last night I split a bottle of wine with a friend whose ex-boyfriend cheated on her a few months ago. Breakups are hard and there is a process that follows the demise of most long term relationships. This wasn't the hang where you get your friend drunk so they don't have to feel anything, it was a follow up. You don't leave until your friend is done talking and you have cussed enough about her ex to increase her morale. That's what friends are for, even if it means sleep deprivation.
I told my first customer to "have a nice day" without asking him to pay for his groceries. He laughed as he took out his credit card. Awesome. I wasn't looking forward to another day like this.
Withdrawal: Stingwich
I had made several stingwiches up to this point. All good looking sandwiches of varying type and packaging. None of them had been eaten. I decided to ask around to see if anyone's lunch had been stolen lately. I talked to Elvira, Vitamin Girl and Pedantic Joe* (who left cashiering for working in grocery) and it seemed that no thefts had been made lately. I also found out that a lot of people have started locking up their lunch bags in the lockers. Did a rumor of a sandwich laced with Ex-Lax scare the selfish lunch thief from stealing food from the fridge? I shouldn't have told Crazy Red Head Vegan about the stingwich, but then again, if the thefts have stopped because of her warning then I should consider this mission a half success. I don't have to have the satisfaction of knowing that someone has downed 2-3 doses of Ex-Lax because he stole a sandwich that wasn't his and who knows, maybe this is somewhat illegal. What if the thief had an allergic reaction to the drug? Then I would be in deep shit. No pun intended.
*traitor
Old Lady #13
An old lady in a purple muumuu with a bandana over her head came into my line with a lot of groceries. After checking her out I asked her if she would like help going out to her car. She said, "Yes." Sweet Nate came along to push her cart but when he got close to it she wouldn't let him push. She just let him walk her to her car while she pushed her cart. It was a funny thing to see. Nate told me that she let him help put the groceries in the trunk but she was putting in groceries too. She let him put the grocery cart back but only because he offered. I wondered if she had issues with getting older and didn't want anyone to think she needed help. Maybe she was a feminist, letting men help when she says so! I envisioned the woman on the retro "Yes We Can" poster, except elderly and in a purple muumuu.
Old Lady #14
Another old lady came into my line with a ton of groceries as well. This woman let people help her. I shared the story of the woman with the purple muumuu with this lady.
OLD LADY: One of the perks of getting old is retiring and having people do things for you!
ME: Right? I kind of want to be old right now.
OLD LADY: No you don't. The thing that stinks about getting old is that your looks go away.
ME: I would think that depends on who's looking.
OLD LADY: I used to get complimented on my full lips. Not so much anymore.
ME: Well I think you're pretty!
OLD LADY: Aw! Thank you dear.
She smiled and walked away with Nate pushing her cart. She needed to hear that. I thought about how I might age. Would I think that I'm unattractive just because I'm not young anymore? Nope. I plan to be aware of what beauty is at every age.
Stynk Eye
The Infamous Patti came into work with what looked like pink eye. She assured us that it was a stye. Still, it was hard to look at Patti's face. I urged her to go get an eye patch so that she doesn't frighten customers into thinking they are going to take pink eye home with their groceries. Roz had Patti do a lot of office work because of the stye, increasing head cashier duties for O.C.Daisy. Daisy was still in training mode and made mistakes so she was too humble pie to do the things that irritate me.
Update: Miranda and the Gang
Miranda and her sisters came through my line today. It was Miranda's birthday! I bought lollipops for the girls as usual and I gave Miranda a second one for her special day. I let them know that I was only going to be there for two more weeks. When I told grandmother that I was a musician she told me that she went to the Eastman School of Music for voice when she was young. Awesome! She wished me luck with my career and they left to celebrate with cake and ice cream. People like Miranda and her family are what I will miss the most about working in this place.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Day Forty One
Old Man #12
Have you ever been so tired that you cannot and should not operate machinery? That was me today. After I endangered a dozen or so lives while driving to work I attempted to handle a cash register. I screwed up A LOT. I had charged people twice for items, I entered the wrong PLU codes and I would somehow charge people for 25 of an item when they only bought 2.
In came an old man with a cap on that read "Old dude with achy breaky parts."
ME: Billy Ray Cyrus? [pointing to the old man's cap]
OLD MAN: Who?
I laughed. I kept entering the wrong PLU codes and the old man kept questioning the screen.
OLD MAN: Is that asparagus?
ME: [holding celery] I'm so sorry. I'm so tired my fingers keep hitting the wrong buttons.
This happened so many times that I had to get head cashier Patti to scan her card to allow for all the voids. She stuck around to help me bag groceries because I was going so slow. I felt so bad. This transaction took much longer than it should have.
ME: I am SO sorry sir. [I finally handed him his receipt] I'm sorry for any pain I may have caused you during this transaction.
OLD MAN: You have a wonderful smile. You could never cause me any pain.
PATTI: Woo! It's gettin' deep in here. I'm gonna need my boots!
The Cashier Exodus
Sally Spec walked up to me with a frown on her face.
SALLY: It looks like we are definitely going to have to keep our hair up from now on.
ME: What?
It was what I feared. She explained to me how Ryan was no longer going to be a head cashier so that he can transfer to grocery, cut his hours and attend school. O.C.Daisy was going to be the new head cashier. I tried to imagine what this new environment would be like. Tied up hair, tucked in shirts and being called "darlin" by someone who hates me. I didn't take another breath before I had resolved to submit my two week notice.
I took out a blank sheet of paper and did the very thing I criticized Heartless Lucy for doing, hand writing my letter. It was the gesture of immediately handing in a resignation at the news of Daisy's promotion that I was after. I had originally planned to stay as a cashier to the end of August.
I explained in the letter that I was offered two new jobs, one as an adjunct professor of trumpet at a state university, the other as an assistant director of music for a church. I mentioned how much I appreciated them taking me in as a cashier and how it meant more to me than simply having a job to transition me from my doctoral coursework to professional employment. Having the opportunity to interact with customers and coworkers is what I enjoyed most. I also enjoyed the exercise of writing about these interactions but I didn't admit to that in the resignation. I actually felt a slight tug in my heart strings when I handed the letter to Emmy.
EMMY: [looking at the letter, she gasped] I know what this means! You are going to start that bucket list! I do NOT want that to happen!
Oh yeah, the bucket list. I made a list in my mind of things I would do in my last days of employment. I would sometimes share this list with Emmy for a laugh.
1. Tell customers to put back items where they found them and that I would wait until they come back. This store isn't that big.
2. Rude people do not receive direct eye contact, but a look just past them to the left or the right of their faces.
3. Whenever I witnessed a parent being awful to their kid, I would complain of having a huge headache all of a sudden and that I would return after getting some aspirin.
...just to name a few. Every time something messed up happened in the store, I would add my dream reaction to the bucket list, vowing to react that way at the appropriate time. I assured Emmy that these things wouldn't happen...maybe. She reminded me that we still needed to play "Johnny Be Good" on the trumpet sometime. That would will probably never happen, but I always reply, "Yeah!"
The Best Kid, Ever
Two parents and their son came through my line today with a ton of groceries. We made the usual pleasant conversation as I rang in items. The little boy helped his mom get items out of the cart to place them on the belt. Once he finished helping he walked forward until something caught his eye: the container of organic lollipops. He stared at them for a long time. He didn't touch the container. He didn't say, "Mom, look! Can I have one?" It was obvious that he had been trained by his parents to never beg. The staring went on for several minutes and his jaw slackened as he inspected around the sides, checking out each and every flavor. It was hard to watch without laughing out loud. How was he not drooling? He moved aside so that his mom could swipe her card. I grabbed the container and pulled out all of the flavors. Instead of going to the kid though, I looked at the mom first.
ME: Your kid is one of the best behaved kids I have ever seen.
MOM: Thank you!
ME: I would like to offer him a lollipop, is that okay?
MOM: Yes!
I thought I had already seen this kid's eyes open as wide as they could. I was wrong. He looked at the lollipops as though this flavor decision would be life altering. He chose watermelon. He said thank you without the parents prompting him to say so. Amazing parents. Amazing kid.
Carbs
The latte I drank before work had worn off and I became more tired than when my shift started. Lines were getting long when a group of skinny pre-teen girls came into my line. They only had a couple of snacks. One of the girls was checking nutritional information on the back of a pack of candy before she was going to let me scan it. She made a comment about how many carbs were in her food item. The other girl made a disapproving moan. She told me she was going to replace the item with something else really quick and that she would be back. I watched them both hurry off as I turned around to face Sally Spec.
ME: That fatless fetus is checking carbs. WHY AMERICA?!
I wasn't aware of how far my booming man voice had carried. There was an echo. Customers in my line and Sally's line stared at me. Some laughed. I didn't mean to say it that loudly. The girls came back and just bought flavored water. They put away all of their foods. I didn't know what to say. On one hand I was happy that they put the food away themselves. On the other hand, I wish those girls knew that they weren't going to gain a pound from the snacks they were going to buy. In addition to the small pack of candy they were going to buy a small pack of fruit snacks and a small four pack of Lucy's gluten free, dairy free cookies. As one who is experienced in being previously fat (to clarify, a person who has (several times) come down from having too large a body mass index for her height and gender through exercise and good diet), I can say that without a doubt they would have been fine. They hardly looked like they were being fed in the first place. I shook my head and moved on to the next customer.
Have you ever been so tired that you cannot and should not operate machinery? That was me today. After I endangered a dozen or so lives while driving to work I attempted to handle a cash register. I screwed up A LOT. I had charged people twice for items, I entered the wrong PLU codes and I would somehow charge people for 25 of an item when they only bought 2.
In came an old man with a cap on that read "Old dude with achy breaky parts."
ME: Billy Ray Cyrus? [pointing to the old man's cap]
OLD MAN: Who?
I laughed. I kept entering the wrong PLU codes and the old man kept questioning the screen.
OLD MAN: Is that asparagus?
ME: [holding celery] I'm so sorry. I'm so tired my fingers keep hitting the wrong buttons.
This happened so many times that I had to get head cashier Patti to scan her card to allow for all the voids. She stuck around to help me bag groceries because I was going so slow. I felt so bad. This transaction took much longer than it should have.
ME: I am SO sorry sir. [I finally handed him his receipt] I'm sorry for any pain I may have caused you during this transaction.
OLD MAN: You have a wonderful smile. You could never cause me any pain.
PATTI: Woo! It's gettin' deep in here. I'm gonna need my boots!
The Cashier Exodus
Sally Spec walked up to me with a frown on her face.
SALLY: It looks like we are definitely going to have to keep our hair up from now on.
ME: What?
It was what I feared. She explained to me how Ryan was no longer going to be a head cashier so that he can transfer to grocery, cut his hours and attend school. O.C.Daisy was going to be the new head cashier. I tried to imagine what this new environment would be like. Tied up hair, tucked in shirts and being called "darlin" by someone who hates me. I didn't take another breath before I had resolved to submit my two week notice.
I took out a blank sheet of paper and did the very thing I criticized Heartless Lucy for doing, hand writing my letter. It was the gesture of immediately handing in a resignation at the news of Daisy's promotion that I was after. I had originally planned to stay as a cashier to the end of August.
I explained in the letter that I was offered two new jobs, one as an adjunct professor of trumpet at a state university, the other as an assistant director of music for a church. I mentioned how much I appreciated them taking me in as a cashier and how it meant more to me than simply having a job to transition me from my doctoral coursework to professional employment. Having the opportunity to interact with customers and coworkers is what I enjoyed most. I also enjoyed the exercise of writing about these interactions but I didn't admit to that in the resignation. I actually felt a slight tug in my heart strings when I handed the letter to Emmy.
EMMY: [looking at the letter, she gasped] I know what this means! You are going to start that bucket list! I do NOT want that to happen!
Oh yeah, the bucket list. I made a list in my mind of things I would do in my last days of employment. I would sometimes share this list with Emmy for a laugh.
1. Tell customers to put back items where they found them and that I would wait until they come back. This store isn't that big.
2. Rude people do not receive direct eye contact, but a look just past them to the left or the right of their faces.
3. Whenever I witnessed a parent being awful to their kid, I would complain of having a huge headache all of a sudden and that I would return after getting some aspirin.
...just to name a few. Every time something messed up happened in the store, I would add my dream reaction to the bucket list, vowing to react that way at the appropriate time. I assured Emmy that these things wouldn't happen...maybe. She reminded me that we still needed to play "Johnny Be Good" on the trumpet sometime. That would will probably never happen, but I always reply, "Yeah!"
The Best Kid, Ever
Two parents and their son came through my line today with a ton of groceries. We made the usual pleasant conversation as I rang in items. The little boy helped his mom get items out of the cart to place them on the belt. Once he finished helping he walked forward until something caught his eye: the container of organic lollipops. He stared at them for a long time. He didn't touch the container. He didn't say, "Mom, look! Can I have one?" It was obvious that he had been trained by his parents to never beg. The staring went on for several minutes and his jaw slackened as he inspected around the sides, checking out each and every flavor. It was hard to watch without laughing out loud. How was he not drooling? He moved aside so that his mom could swipe her card. I grabbed the container and pulled out all of the flavors. Instead of going to the kid though, I looked at the mom first.
ME: Your kid is one of the best behaved kids I have ever seen.
MOM: Thank you!
ME: I would like to offer him a lollipop, is that okay?
MOM: Yes!
I thought I had already seen this kid's eyes open as wide as they could. I was wrong. He looked at the lollipops as though this flavor decision would be life altering. He chose watermelon. He said thank you without the parents prompting him to say so. Amazing parents. Amazing kid.
Carbs
The latte I drank before work had worn off and I became more tired than when my shift started. Lines were getting long when a group of skinny pre-teen girls came into my line. They only had a couple of snacks. One of the girls was checking nutritional information on the back of a pack of candy before she was going to let me scan it. She made a comment about how many carbs were in her food item. The other girl made a disapproving moan. She told me she was going to replace the item with something else really quick and that she would be back. I watched them both hurry off as I turned around to face Sally Spec.
ME: That fatless fetus is checking carbs. WHY AMERICA?!
I wasn't aware of how far my booming man voice had carried. There was an echo. Customers in my line and Sally's line stared at me. Some laughed. I didn't mean to say it that loudly. The girls came back and just bought flavored water. They put away all of their foods. I didn't know what to say. On one hand I was happy that they put the food away themselves. On the other hand, I wish those girls knew that they weren't going to gain a pound from the snacks they were going to buy. In addition to the small pack of candy they were going to buy a small pack of fruit snacks and a small four pack of Lucy's gluten free, dairy free cookies. As one who is experienced in being previously fat (to clarify, a person who has (several times) come down from having too large a body mass index for her height and gender through exercise and good diet), I can say that without a doubt they would have been fine. They hardly looked like they were being fed in the first place. I shook my head and moved on to the next customer.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Day Forty
Update: Miranda and the Gang
My favorite trio of kids came into my line today. They greeted me as they usually do. I will be in the middle of checking out some a customer and then out of nowhere a kid will scream, "HI MIRANDA!" That's how I see these girls each time. I grabbed the nearest container of lollipops and I let them choose whatever flavor they want. Today they were accompanied by their grandma.
ME: How has your morning gone?
GRANDMOTHER: Oh, same as usual. We get up, do some exercise, we go to the store and then we go home and do some reading.
I love that they are active with their grandparents. I learned that the other girls' names are Sunny and Eva. Miranda, of course, is not a hard name to remember. I imagine the girls live with their grandparents. I wondered about the girls' parents. Maybe they just stay with the grandparents during the day while the parents work. Maybe the parent have died. Whatever the case, I would never dare ask such a personal question to strangers. I was happy that the kids are happy though. Their grandparents seem so nice.
Instant Cheer
A woman and her husband came into my line.
ME: Hi! How are you today?
WOMAN: Ugh, Don't ask. I am having the worst day ever.
ME: Uh oh.
She definitely looked like she was having the worst day ever. She had her head buried in her hands while I scanned and weighed groceries. I wanted to help.
ME: Ma'am, may I show you something that I think will cheer you up? If it doesn't then I swear I will leave you alone.
WOMAN: Okay, sure.
I ran over to the magazines on register 2, pulled out Bark magazine and opened it to the feature on Seth Casteel's Underwater Dogs. I handed the magazine over to the unhappy woman and showed her pictures that looked like this:
and this:
She laughed.
WOMAN: That is pretty hilarious.
ME: Did it cheer you up a little?
WOMAN: Yes it did.
The woman's husband came over and she showed him the pictures. He laughed too. Dogs are the best. It's hard to be completely unhappy around dogs, or even while looking at pictures of them like these. I am the owner of two beautiful, silly dogs. I am never unhappy for long while they are around. I feed, walk and play with them, they love me in return and I smile. I decided that I should keep that Bark magazine handy for the next customer who was having a bad day.
A Word of Advice
Do not playfully use military jargon in front of a war veteran. A man came into my line wearing an Air Force cap.
ME: You served in the Air Force?
MAN: Yes, I served in Vietnam.
ME: Thank you for your service. You must have some amazing stories.
MAN: Yes I do. I had to have my heel sewn back on.
I was very aware of my foot all of a sudden. The veteran asked me for a pen which he placed on the check writing counter. It rolled off and fell to the ground. Whenever that happens, whenever anyone drops anything, I say what I said to this veteran.
ME: Oh no! Man down!
The veteran bent down and picked up his pen, then shook his head while he wrote his check.
Stupid Miranda.
My favorite trio of kids came into my line today. They greeted me as they usually do. I will be in the middle of checking out some a customer and then out of nowhere a kid will scream, "HI MIRANDA!" That's how I see these girls each time. I grabbed the nearest container of lollipops and I let them choose whatever flavor they want. Today they were accompanied by their grandma.
ME: How has your morning gone?
GRANDMOTHER: Oh, same as usual. We get up, do some exercise, we go to the store and then we go home and do some reading.
I love that they are active with their grandparents. I learned that the other girls' names are Sunny and Eva. Miranda, of course, is not a hard name to remember. I imagine the girls live with their grandparents. I wondered about the girls' parents. Maybe they just stay with the grandparents during the day while the parents work. Maybe the parent have died. Whatever the case, I would never dare ask such a personal question to strangers. I was happy that the kids are happy though. Their grandparents seem so nice.
Instant Cheer
A woman and her husband came into my line.
ME: Hi! How are you today?
WOMAN: Ugh, Don't ask. I am having the worst day ever.
ME: Uh oh.
She definitely looked like she was having the worst day ever. She had her head buried in her hands while I scanned and weighed groceries. I wanted to help.
ME: Ma'am, may I show you something that I think will cheer you up? If it doesn't then I swear I will leave you alone.
WOMAN: Okay, sure.
I ran over to the magazines on register 2, pulled out Bark magazine and opened it to the feature on Seth Casteel's Underwater Dogs. I handed the magazine over to the unhappy woman and showed her pictures that looked like this:
and this:
She laughed.
WOMAN: That is pretty hilarious.
ME: Did it cheer you up a little?
WOMAN: Yes it did.
The woman's husband came over and she showed him the pictures. He laughed too. Dogs are the best. It's hard to be completely unhappy around dogs, or even while looking at pictures of them like these. I am the owner of two beautiful, silly dogs. I am never unhappy for long while they are around. I feed, walk and play with them, they love me in return and I smile. I decided that I should keep that Bark magazine handy for the next customer who was having a bad day.
A Word of Advice
Do not playfully use military jargon in front of a war veteran. A man came into my line wearing an Air Force cap.
ME: You served in the Air Force?
MAN: Yes, I served in Vietnam.
ME: Thank you for your service. You must have some amazing stories.
MAN: Yes I do. I had to have my heel sewn back on.
I was very aware of my foot all of a sudden. The veteran asked me for a pen which he placed on the check writing counter. It rolled off and fell to the ground. Whenever that happens, whenever anyone drops anything, I say what I said to this veteran.
ME: Oh no! Man down!
The veteran bent down and picked up his pen, then shook his head while he wrote his check.
Stupid Miranda.
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